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I will never have a son.. | I used to be a badass

I will never have a son…

We were totally shocked when Rya opened the two envelopes. I had strong vibes for weeks that it was a boy and a girl. My dreams always revealed that it was two boys and I will be honest, I really wanted a son. Having twins in me, I thought the odds were pretty good. The thought of a grown man towering over me, calling me mom one day, another version of my husband, the man I love and adore so much. This was something I really wanted in my life and when Rya opened that last envelope and said it’s another girl, my heart dropped a little.

How big will this thing get?

How big will this thing get?

I am sure there are many parents out there who have experienced this feeling. Its a weird feeling, like you can’t be mad and you can’t complain because really ultimately all you want is for your baby to be healthy and that you could conceive in the first place. But it’s this kind of feeling that shocks you and you realize it’s out of your control, something in life you can’t customize. What a beautiful thing really, we are blessed with what we are supposed to have in our life. What our family needs, the mix of the right vibrations to make the perfect “us”.

Well this feeling only lasted a few minutes, as we realized how amazing this is going to be to have two little twin sisters grow together. Best friends forever, always having each other through all that life throws them. As I know, I will not be having anymore children, I have excepted that I won’t be having a son and that Chris is all the towering man I need.

Chris fell asleep that night before me, as I looked over at him his hands interlocked together on his chest. Eyes shut softly and this big smile of content on his face. This melted my heart, I sat there and knew that Chris is the man for the job, to have a house full of women. He is the most patient and compassionate human I have ever come across and these two twin girls will definitely have a hero of a father for the rest of their lives.

It’s crazy, but I love Chris even more now.  Being pregnant shows you a lot of things about your man and brings out a whole new love for them and what the future holds for the life ahead of you both.

I know in a few months when these babies are here it’s going to be busy. We have been warned already that our relationship will be tried many nights at 2am and 4am. I know there will be a lot of shitty diapers, laundry and our world will be completely different then it is now. But I can’t wait to watch Chris hold two babies in his arms and see the way his two girls glare into his eyes with so much love.

It’s a miracle; LIFE. What a miraculous opportunity we all have here on this earth. To have love, to give life and to be a part of something so powerful. These organs, this skin, the perfect amount of all the elements that make our bodies function and make us who we are.

I have two humans growing in my belly right now!!! Like wtf, it’s crazy when you actually think about it. It’s super cool but also very insane to think about. We don’t always think about life, about our bodies and how grateful we are, we can get so wrapped up in our lives and in things that don’t always really matter. Sometimes it takes being pregnant or being sick or losing someone close to us to stop and think about what’s really important in life. What really matters and how lucky we are to be alive on this earth here together.

Go on with your day, always be grateful and tell the ones in your life every chance you can how much you love them and how important they are to you. Complement each other, do good deeds for a stranger everyday, accept people in your world for who they are. Motivate and inspire people, let jealousy or greed go. Let’s all see the innocence in each other, in person and online. You are a miracle, you’re the perfect combination that makes you YOU, so let’s all let it shine bright!

Happy New Year’s, 2017 is going to be epic!

Email me (Danielle Chevalier) if you wanna talk or share your story with me: adrenalinefit@gmail.com

 

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