Why I Chose Not to Have Weight Loss Surgery

Here in Windsor we have an intake center for bariatric surgery. This means, that all of the assessments, medical tests, and education are done right in my home town (travel must be done for surgery). This means it makes it much more convenient for me to go through the process, as some people have to travel up to two hours for each appointment. As my husband and I sat through an information session about a year ago, I could see the growing concern on his face. At the end I looked at him and asked his thoughts. His exact words were, “You don’t want to know what I think.” (For details about the surgery, click here) He was not saying this to be negative or to not support me in any way. He followed up by, “If this is something you want, I will support you, and help you in any way I can”. Perfect. I told the nurses that I was ready to move forward, and the process began.

A few months later, I stood in the clinic speaking with a group of extremely unfriendly, condescending and belittling office staff for intake. I then attended my first appointment with a registered nurse. She was lovely. I explained to her my reservations about things I had ‘heard’. One of which was attending ‘support group meetings’. In speaking to people who had been through the process, I had been made aware that several of the people in these groups spend time together learning how to ‘cheat’ the system. Offering tips on how to go back to old habits after the surgery was done. The nurse flat out told me that I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to (she also told me to make sure to stand up for myself, I later understood why). I had already planned to create my own network of support, with family, a few close friends, one of whom was scheduled to have gastric bypass (and is doing amazing, now 6 months out). I didn’t feel that I needed the support of strangers, or to risk falling into old habits by making friends with the wrong people. That same day I met my endocrinologist. This doctor would be classified as obese and was telling me what I needed to do. Something about this just seemed wrong.

My next appointment was with the social worker. I had done my homework and was ready. I walked in and noticed something…the social worker was overweight as well. (In hind sight, 50% or more of the staff would not be considered to have a healthy BMI) I would say she was bordering on being obese if not already there. She sat there and twisted the things I had written in my homework into things they were not meant to portray about my family life, MY CHILDREN, and made suggestions about diet and exercise, most of which she clearly wasn’t following. She treated me like I was an eight-year-old child instead of the intelligent, educated woman I am. I left in hysterics with a referral to the psychologist for a “deeper assessment”. She also told me that if I didn’t attend a support group I would be kicked out of the program. There was no consistency at all. The majority of the staff liked to use the threat of being discharged as some sort of leverage. Bizarre. My dear friend who went through the program told me to ‘play the game’. I am not good at games, especially when it is my life that is being played with.

A few weeks later I attended my nutrition class with a registered dietician. At this point I had been working with a nutritionist for a couple months. Everything this woman was teaching, was contradicting what I had been learning for the past few months. Most of the recommendations were geared toward processed, low fat and sugar free foods (with artificial sweeteners) rather than focusing on whole, unprocessed, nutrient dense choices. There were many suggestions, that frozen ‘diet’ dinners were a great choice, without mentioning that the sodium content in one meal is through the roof. For ‘sweets’ and desserts, rather than focusing on fresh fruits, puddings and similar things, that are artificially flavoured and sweetened, were considered a ‘great choice’. I’d recently kicked an aspartame addiction and I was being told, rather than change my attitude toward food, making chemically laden choices was ‘good for me’. Basically, as long as it wasn’t high in fat or sugar, (therefore not causing dumping syndrome), it was a good choice. Yes, there was a focus on getting enough protein, having vegetables (which initially needed to be cooked to the point of no nutrients left) and starting an exercise routine. I learned nothing except how food was metabolized after surgery. It scared me to think that my body would no longer be able to absorb the amazing nutrients that can be found in unprocessed, whole foods (and that a lot of my hair would likely fall out temporarily). It terrified me to think that so called ‘good choices’ after surgery were chemical based foods, which are manufactured in factories with the help of scientists.

When I returned for my psychologist’s appointment, I came out of the elevator to a very strong smell. The smell was grease. As I rounded the corner, the room that the staff congregates in for breaks had the door open. The table was covered in McDonalds bags, french fry packaging etcetera. I was in absolute and complete shock. While I am a believer that the staff in this unit should not be mandated to live a healthy lifestyle outside of work, they should be following specific protocol when in the company of obese patients, most of who struggle with food addiction. I also think that having obese staff on the unit in counterproductive to what is trying to be achieved. There is one nurse, who I spoke to by phone, who’d had the surgery and seemed to be one of very few people who wanted to be in her position to actually help people.

At this point I was heavily involved in the Fit Life Challenge. A two month, lifestyle change competition that I went on to win. I decided that if the staff at this clinic did not have my best interest in mind, with the lack of kindness and compassion nor making the environment a positive setting, I didn’t want to be part of the program any longer.

When I called to remove myself from the program, I spoke to the lovely nurse who has gone through the process. She was clearly upset about my experience. She suggested going on hold as opposed to withdrawing completely. She explained to me that because I had been a ‘no show’ that day for my appointment (I called to withdraw rather than attend) my case would have to be reviewed by a board to see if I would even be eligible to put a hold on my file. I didn’t care either way. She called me back the following day, to let me know that after speaking to her manager, they decided it would not be taken to a board, ‘due to the circumstances’. Translation, the clinic staff was going to be in big trouble, and they understood my reasons for deferral.

I am 100% a supporter of weight loss surgery. I believe it is an amazing tool for the right candidate who wants to use it as a stepping stone as opposed to a ‘cure’. At this moment my ‘case’ is still on hold. I have until mid-June to decide if I want to go forth with surgery or stay on the path I am on. I am still heavily involved with Adrenaline Extreme Fitness, the host of the Fit Life Challenge. I am also hosting a personal challenge to prove that shakes, pills and gimmicks are not needed to succeed in getting healthy and fit. I am in a better place than I have ever been health wise. For now, I am going to keep up what I am doing and work harder than ever. This means Axfit 5-6 times/week plus at home workouts. I am not saying that there is never a chance of me having surgery (chances are however, slim to none), but at this point I am happy with the path I am on. I plan to continue with it, and hopefully inspire others along the way!